In a few short days we will hit the 6 month mark of the event of the year for our family. It really does feel like forever ago that our lives changed drastically.
Sometimes I can't believe everything that has happened was such a short time ago, and then there are days that the emotional toll on a family that deals with a heart attack makes it seem like you are right back at that space in time.
We have grown closer as a family. We take nothing for granted. Lynn and I have had time to work on our marriage, we are way healthier, and the list of positives goes on and on.
We have always felt like things should be celebrated, and this is no different. We'll mark this 6 months on a cruise ship with some of our favorite people, and actually on that day swim with dolphins...something that has been on my bucket list for many many years. We had started planning this trip two weeks prior to the HA. It's no coincidence that we are celebrating this recovery 6 months later on a vacation of a lifetime.
We are healthier people, mentally and physically. I will even mark my 40th birthday by running a 5K with my sweet daughter. I don't know if that would have happened or not...but I do know that the HA was motivation. We enjoy going to the gym as a family and finding new recipes that actually taste good. This has not been a journey for Lynn alone, but one for the whole family...and we are all better for that.
If you are familiar with the show Parenthood I think Zeek says it best:
"I don't want to go through it again. I just want to live my life, Millie. Enjoy every minute I've got left." That in the most simple way is how I feel about this event. I am thankful for what we have learned from it, and I will celebrate every day we have been given...but I don't want to live that part of my life again.
Live your life...I've said it so many times. Be an active participant...don't just exsist to make it through. Exsist to make a life that means something. We have no idea how much time we are given but we do know how important that time is...so once again life your life.
Don't just say it, do it. It's easy to get caught up to the every day grind. There are days like that, but really evaluate what is important to you and your family. Is it work? Is it school? Or is it spending time playing frisbee in the back yard watching a moon rise? Figure it out. You don't have time to waste being idle.
Live your life. Live it fully.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Bumpy Road
As I continue my recovery, I find that the ride is not always as smooth as you'll find on Sedgwick County roads. After a few days of chest discomfort related to breathing last week, Erin made an appointment with my primary physician to see what was going on. She wouldn't let me go to work, so I didn't fight her about it since I had nothing else planned. :) Besides, the discomfort was painful at this point, I had a low grade fever, and was unable to sleep the night before. X-rays came out clear, so it wasn't pneumonia or bronchitis. He sent me to get a CT Angiography at St. Francis just in case it might be a pulmonary embolism resulting from the heart surgery. That ended up taking the rest of the day to schedule and complete, and Erin was able to ensure a painful ride by finding every pothole and bump in the city streets driving to the hospital. I would think that she did it on purpose, but then again they're city streets so I can't fault her, can I? (Uh, huh, I said it.)
After everything I have been through since we've been married (and watching every episode of Grey's Anatomy), Erin feels as though she has the equivalent experience of a second year medical resident. She had already diagnosed me with a pulmonary embolism before she called the doctor. I have to admit, I was more than a little worried after Erin looked up the symptoms of a PE and I had most of them. I knew I'd end up back in the hospital and did not want to go back! Thankfully, that was not the problem. I did not have a blood clot in my lung, but I did have pleurisy - swelling of the tissue lining my chest and lungs. It's most likely a complication from heart surgery. It was painful for a few days, but is just uncomfortable now that I have been taking high dose ibuprofen and antibiotics. I'm fine as long as I don't move very much or yawn or sneeze or cough or burp or breathe... so the last few days have been uncomfortable. My doctor called to check on me Friday morning and was surprised I was back at work. Why sit around at home thinking about the pain when I could go to work and complain to others? :)
I finally start cardiac rehab this Tuesday. I am confident this pleurisy thing will be taken care of by then, because I'm not putting rehab off any longer. It's my last step in recovery. Let's get started and get it done!
I'll probably update this blog once or twice more after rehab starts so I can complain about it to those still reading this, but then I think this journey to my heart will finally conclude. As always, I thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.
After everything I have been through since we've been married (and watching every episode of Grey's Anatomy), Erin feels as though she has the equivalent experience of a second year medical resident. She had already diagnosed me with a pulmonary embolism before she called the doctor. I have to admit, I was more than a little worried after Erin looked up the symptoms of a PE and I had most of them. I knew I'd end up back in the hospital and did not want to go back! Thankfully, that was not the problem. I did not have a blood clot in my lung, but I did have pleurisy - swelling of the tissue lining my chest and lungs. It's most likely a complication from heart surgery. It was painful for a few days, but is just uncomfortable now that I have been taking high dose ibuprofen and antibiotics. I'm fine as long as I don't move very much or yawn or sneeze or cough or burp or breathe... so the last few days have been uncomfortable. My doctor called to check on me Friday morning and was surprised I was back at work. Why sit around at home thinking about the pain when I could go to work and complain to others? :)
I finally start cardiac rehab this Tuesday. I am confident this pleurisy thing will be taken care of by then, because I'm not putting rehab off any longer. It's my last step in recovery. Let's get started and get it done!
I'll probably update this blog once or twice more after rehab starts so I can complain about it to those still reading this, but then I think this journey to my heart will finally conclude. As always, I thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Ending times..
This week brings the end of school. I am thankful that the kids had school to focus on during this journey. It also gave Lynn time to recoup at home without them bugging him to "play". If there is any silver lining in all this the timing for school and his return to work is good.
He is still not able to do everything he used to do. I did let him take a few trips around the yard with the mower. It was like I'd given him the keys to a new mustang. He also went up the ladder....these are exciting times people.
On Friday while I was running errands I had to stop twice for ambulances...and heard two more while I was out. Seeing them and hearing them brings me anxiety. It transports me right back to that morning and everything that has happened to him, me and us as a family. The process for physical healing is big. The process for mental and emotional healing is huge and will take longer...especially for me because I lived it, and the things I remember, Lynn doesn't. Who am I kidding...Lynn not remembering is normal! :)
He will continue to work half days at least for a few more days. I can already see that work is creeping into his life again. Last week he was answering an email after midnight. Something about that needs to change....I think maybe that's a password.
We are doing normal things. Kira continues to impress us with with her heart for others and her tenacity to never give up. She is silly and she laughs...a lot...just like her Momma. She seriously just told me she met Kelly Clarkson by running into her at the grocery store. She is so funny.
She ran her first 5K a few weeks ago. I thought I was going to cry because I was just so dang proud of her. We were notified a few weeks ago from the princpal that she will be awarded this week at school with a citizenship award. It's a big deal...a huge deal.
Evan continues to make great progress with his occupational therapy and I have said more than once that I am so grateful we started him in therapy for his SPD. Had we not gone forward with that going through this event would have been so much more difficult. I knew how to approach the situation with him...and he has come through it with flying colors. He just finished writing all his numbers to 1000....and he is beaming from ear to ear. So proud of himself, and he tells me evey night how much he loves me and that I am the best Momma in the world FOR HIM.
All in all progress is moving forward. Lynn is doing well. I am doing well. The kids are doing well. As time moves forward our new normal is still filled with lots of life and tons of love. Things are different, but we are strong. In fact as I close this post we are all singing "Stand By Me". I can think of no better song to define us over the last few weeks!
He is still not able to do everything he used to do. I did let him take a few trips around the yard with the mower. It was like I'd given him the keys to a new mustang. He also went up the ladder....these are exciting times people.
On Friday while I was running errands I had to stop twice for ambulances...and heard two more while I was out. Seeing them and hearing them brings me anxiety. It transports me right back to that morning and everything that has happened to him, me and us as a family. The process for physical healing is big. The process for mental and emotional healing is huge and will take longer...especially for me because I lived it, and the things I remember, Lynn doesn't. Who am I kidding...Lynn not remembering is normal! :)
He will continue to work half days at least for a few more days. I can already see that work is creeping into his life again. Last week he was answering an email after midnight. Something about that needs to change....I think maybe that's a password.
We are doing normal things. Kira continues to impress us with with her heart for others and her tenacity to never give up. She is silly and she laughs...a lot...just like her Momma. She seriously just told me she met Kelly Clarkson by running into her at the grocery store. She is so funny.
She ran her first 5K a few weeks ago. I thought I was going to cry because I was just so dang proud of her. We were notified a few weeks ago from the princpal that she will be awarded this week at school with a citizenship award. It's a big deal...a huge deal.
Evan continues to make great progress with his occupational therapy and I have said more than once that I am so grateful we started him in therapy for his SPD. Had we not gone forward with that going through this event would have been so much more difficult. I knew how to approach the situation with him...and he has come through it with flying colors. He just finished writing all his numbers to 1000....and he is beaming from ear to ear. So proud of himself, and he tells me evey night how much he loves me and that I am the best Momma in the world FOR HIM.
All in all progress is moving forward. Lynn is doing well. I am doing well. The kids are doing well. As time moves forward our new normal is still filled with lots of life and tons of love. Things are different, but we are strong. In fact as I close this post we are all singing "Stand By Me". I can think of no better song to define us over the last few weeks!
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
I am Free!
I saw the cardiothoracic surgeon this afternoon. We waited an hour to see him and then got to spend almost 5 entire minutes in his presence. I think that is par for the course. But, I don't mind because in that 5 minutes he released my driving restriction, increased my lifting limit to 20 lbs, and eliminated all the other restrictions "as my body tolerates." I am officially a free man. I tried to get Erin to agree to celebrate with a stop at Quiktrip for hot dogs and nachos, but apparently she wasn't in the celebrating mood. My request was denied. I think she is sad that I am leaving the nest and venturing out on my own. :-)
The surgeon said it will take another 3-6 months for my nerves to repair, so I'll have numb areas in my chest and left leg until then. He also reiterated that it will take about 2-3 months longer before I am 100%. Cardiac rehab starts in 2 weeks, and that will help move things along. Oh, and I got the protective tape removed from my chest incision. I've got a 7 1/2" incision scar in the middle of my chest, my second longest incision. I have a total of 10 surgical scars now. Erin took a photo of my new chest scar. It's my thinnest scar... nice work Dr. Khicha!
I was out and about from 8:00 to 3:30 today. I didn't do anything big, but it's the longest I've been up without a rest since before the heart attack. Erin tells me I fell asleep when we got home, but I don't recall falling asleep so she is obviously mistaken.
Okay... maybe I slept for a few minutes. I am getting stronger, though. I expect I'll be back at work full time next week. We'll see how the rest of this week goes before a decision is made, but as of now I think it is a good possibility.
The surgeon said it will take another 3-6 months for my nerves to repair, so I'll have numb areas in my chest and left leg until then. He also reiterated that it will take about 2-3 months longer before I am 100%. Cardiac rehab starts in 2 weeks, and that will help move things along. Oh, and I got the protective tape removed from my chest incision. I've got a 7 1/2" incision scar in the middle of my chest, my second longest incision. I have a total of 10 surgical scars now. Erin took a photo of my new chest scar. It's my thinnest scar... nice work Dr. Khicha!
I was out and about from 8:00 to 3:30 today. I didn't do anything big, but it's the longest I've been up without a rest since before the heart attack. Erin tells me I fell asleep when we got home, but I don't recall falling asleep so she is obviously mistaken.
Okay... maybe I slept for a few minutes. I am getting stronger, though. I expect I'll be back at work full time next week. We'll see how the rest of this week goes before a decision is made, but as of now I think it is a good possibility.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Returning to Normal
I went to work on Friday for the first time in 5 weeks. I only stayed a few hours, but it was good to be back, even if I was just a major distraction while I was there. I am fortunate enough to work with good, kind people that have a sense of humor. My door was adorned with a checklist, like the one you see in public restrooms. Different co-workers were "assigned" to check on me every 30 minutes and had to circle a either a smiley face, straight face, sad face or skull and crossbones. What was hilarious to me was the fact that everyone came by on schedule and filled out the list. When I was out of my office for a check, I was paged over the intercom and had to explain my whereabouts! I received a text when I was still gone at the next check-in. I didn't respond fast enough so Erin was notified and I promptly received a phone call from her. I learned my lesson... turn off my cell phone at work! :-)
I will continue part-time this coming week. I learned today that I still have a lot of work ahead of me to get my stamina back. Kira ran her first 5k this morning. It was great; I am so proud of her for completing the run and doing so well! But, even as a spectator I was completely drained after 3 hours on my feet. I could barely walk back to the car. I think passers-by thought I just ran the race! It was disappointing for me because I thought I could handle it better. I got my second wind after a long nap and the family took Kira out for dinner to celebrate.
I have an appointment with the cardiothoracic surgeon on Tuesday and hopefully will have my remaining restrictions lifted. The big one is driving. I've been strictly a back seat passenger for the past 3 weeks, and haven't driven a car since April 3. I detest relying on others, so I am looking forward to regaining some more control in my life. However, I have to admit I will miss my extra time with Erin. I have enjoyed our time together doing things that we typically do separately during the week, like grocery shopping and quick errands. I didn't always drive her nuts. Sometimes I was actually pleasant to be around and we had good times. We'll have to find ways to continue our extra time together as we create our new "normal."
I will continue part-time this coming week. I learned today that I still have a lot of work ahead of me to get my stamina back. Kira ran her first 5k this morning. It was great; I am so proud of her for completing the run and doing so well! But, even as a spectator I was completely drained after 3 hours on my feet. I could barely walk back to the car. I think passers-by thought I just ran the race! It was disappointing for me because I thought I could handle it better. I got my second wind after a long nap and the family took Kira out for dinner to celebrate.
I have an appointment with the cardiothoracic surgeon on Tuesday and hopefully will have my remaining restrictions lifted. The big one is driving. I've been strictly a back seat passenger for the past 3 weeks, and haven't driven a car since April 3. I detest relying on others, so I am looking forward to regaining some more control in my life. However, I have to admit I will miss my extra time with Erin. I have enjoyed our time together doing things that we typically do separately during the week, like grocery shopping and quick errands. I didn't always drive her nuts. Sometimes I was actually pleasant to be around and we had good times. We'll have to find ways to continue our extra time together as we create our new "normal."
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Have a Coke and a smile...
Today we went to get the oil changed, eat lunch and stop by Wal-Mart for plants. The oil change allowed us to walk to our lunch date where we got to talk about this whole experience.
I still can't believe all that has happened. It seems like the heart attack was a year ago. Today marks exactly 4 weeks. I was telling Lynn that those first days are a blur really. So many things had to fall into place. My faith tells me that those things...that all of this he has had a hand in. There is no other explanation for it. Yes, we are smart people and we have made good choices and decisions....but the things out of our control, that we have not had a hand in, have been huge. The fact that we went to the hospital that is one of the best in cardiac care AND the fact that our cardiologist helped DEVELOP the drug for DIABETIC HEART PATIENTS happens to be the one on call that day is no accident. We have also been told the surgeon is one of the best as the nurse asked to see the scar yesterday and she could tell without a doubt who had done the surgery!
One of the things pastor said in his sermon on Sunday was that encouragement doesn't just come in words...it also comes in actions.
I shared that the encouragement we have received in words has been so appreciated....and the encouragement we have received through actions has blown us away. People haven't asked...they have just done. That has been more encouraging to me than anything. It's how I intend to encourage others for sure now....knowing that words are fantastic, but if I really want to make a huge difference I need to view encouragement as a verb.
As Lynn returns to work I am happy and excited that he GETS to opportunity to go back. I know other people with heart attacks don't always get that choice. I am so grateful he does. He loves his job. He loves the people he works with.
He knows that he is getting another chance.
As I sat today and talked with him at lunch he said I want to be the best husband and best dad that I can be....and I told him that I was proud of him...because I am proud of him.
I have always admired his work ethic because mine is much the same. Do it until it's right no matter the sacrifice that has to be made. Now...I'm not so sure that is the way we intend to live our lives. The sacrifice of family is too big. We will continue to be great and do great things...just not at the expense of our health. There is a balance that has to be found and we will find it, it will just have to be adjusted.
Cardiac rehab will start at the end of May and he will be clear to drive in a few days...so watch out!
Monday, May 4, 2015
More Good News
I had my doctors appointment with the cardiologist this afternoon. It went very well. Normal bypass patients need 3 months a cardiac rehab. I only need 1 month! Dr. Farhoud said I was a god among men. Well, he didn't use those exact words, but I could read between the lines. :-) He was impressed. Things are going so well he didn't change any of my meds, either. I do have to go back on Cozaar at some point, but not right now. And, he plans to cut the dosage to 1/4 of that I was on earlier. Everything is perfect!... well, OK, relatively speaking.
I do have some more work to do with my blood glucose levels. I'm still having lows everyday. I've got the overnight lows to stop, but I still have them every evening. Part of it is because the ulcerative colitis is in remission, and part of it is due to the lower carb menu I am adhering to. I could run into big problems once I get more active so I have to be careful. Erin worries because I don't feel low blood sugars as early as I used to. It's a side effect of the heart medication. I'll get it under control soon enough... you know, the god among men thing.
Dr. Farhoud also noted that part of the reason for my low blood pressure problems when I first got home was due to the fact that I was dehydrated. They pump you full of 3-4 liters of fluid during the bypass surgery. It takes most patients several weeks to get rid of the extra fluid, which is why they put everyone on a diuretic. Based on my weight loss after surgery (13 lbs in 7 days) I passed the fluid within the first week after surgery and continuing on the diuretic caused dehydration. Now we know.
Best news of all, I got my work release paperwork! It comes with a few restrictions for a while, but I am cleared to return to work soon. It'll be part time for a few days at least. I was not expecting this until May 18th. I've got to work out a schedule with the rehab, but I will be off house arrest very soon! It shouldn't surprise me. After all, I am a god among men. :-) I have special healing powers. It may also have a little to do with all the prayers and well wishes I have been receiving, but let's not get side tracked from my greatness. (Now you all know I am feeling like myself.) LOL!
I should probably note that Erin may not agree with every word in this blog post. She doesn't pay as close attention as I do at my appointments. Now you'll understand why she may have a different take on today if you talk to her. Don't argue, just nod your head in understanding and move on. In fact, it may just be best not to talk to her about it at all. It's for the best.
I do have some more work to do with my blood glucose levels. I'm still having lows everyday. I've got the overnight lows to stop, but I still have them every evening. Part of it is because the ulcerative colitis is in remission, and part of it is due to the lower carb menu I am adhering to. I could run into big problems once I get more active so I have to be careful. Erin worries because I don't feel low blood sugars as early as I used to. It's a side effect of the heart medication. I'll get it under control soon enough... you know, the god among men thing.
Dr. Farhoud also noted that part of the reason for my low blood pressure problems when I first got home was due to the fact that I was dehydrated. They pump you full of 3-4 liters of fluid during the bypass surgery. It takes most patients several weeks to get rid of the extra fluid, which is why they put everyone on a diuretic. Based on my weight loss after surgery (13 lbs in 7 days) I passed the fluid within the first week after surgery and continuing on the diuretic caused dehydration. Now we know.
Best news of all, I got my work release paperwork! It comes with a few restrictions for a while, but I am cleared to return to work soon. It'll be part time for a few days at least. I was not expecting this until May 18th. I've got to work out a schedule with the rehab, but I will be off house arrest very soon! It shouldn't surprise me. After all, I am a god among men. :-) I have special healing powers. It may also have a little to do with all the prayers and well wishes I have been receiving, but let's not get side tracked from my greatness. (Now you all know I am feeling like myself.) LOL!
I should probably note that Erin may not agree with every word in this blog post. She doesn't pay as close attention as I do at my appointments. Now you'll understand why she may have a different take on today if you talk to her. Don't argue, just nod your head in understanding and move on. In fact, it may just be best not to talk to her about it at all. It's for the best.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
I'm Back!... Kinda...
I've had good days since my last post. My diabetes appointment went well. I feel stronger, I'm walking further, and I just feel better overall. I am getting more sleep than before, too. That probably has helped more than anything. I really feel like I am close to being back to myself. Well, except my taste buds. I am having trouble with spicy food. I used to enjoy spicy dishes, but now even medium salsa is hard to handle... too hot! WTH?!? What did they do to me? This isn't fair! I think they did it on purpose to get me to enjoy bland "heart healthy" foods. It's a conspiracy... but it won't work. I'm on to it and vow to eat spicy foods again!
I see the cardiologist on Monday, May 4. That will likely result in a change in meds, which I worry about a little because I feel as if my progress is going well now. I know they have to put me back on Cozaar to decrease the chance of a stroke, but it also lowers my blood pressure. Hopefully, all goes well and some of my restrictions are lifted. If not, I see the cardiothoracic surgeon on the 14th and that should result in getting the green light provided I give the correct answers and have good test results. May 18th could be the date I get released from house arrest. I'm not sure who will be happier, me or Erin? :-) Then, I can go to work and bring back the chaos!
Wish me luck on Monday.
I see the cardiologist on Monday, May 4. That will likely result in a change in meds, which I worry about a little because I feel as if my progress is going well now. I know they have to put me back on Cozaar to decrease the chance of a stroke, but it also lowers my blood pressure. Hopefully, all goes well and some of my restrictions are lifted. If not, I see the cardiothoracic surgeon on the 14th and that should result in getting the green light provided I give the correct answers and have good test results. May 18th could be the date I get released from house arrest. I'm not sure who will be happier, me or Erin? :-) Then, I can go to work and bring back the chaos!
Wish me luck on Monday.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Feeling Good
As Erin noted, Friday was my best day yet, but I paid the price Saturday. With some rest I was feeling much better by Saturday evening. Sunday was a good day. The kids saw a movie with their cousins while Erin and I had a nice dinner out. I enjoy getting out any chance I get, and getting to have a nice sit down dinner was terrific.
I am managing my blood sugars better now. No more lows in the middle of the night. I have an appointment today with the diabetes specialist and I'm sure some more tweaks are in order. It's amazing how your body responds to different stresses. I think all my meds will need to be adjusted over time. The doctors talked about my body needing to "reset" itself. This is probably part of what they meant.
There will be more bumps in the road ahead of us, but overall things are good and I am starting to feel like myself again. I look forward to improving each day this week.
I am managing my blood sugars better now. No more lows in the middle of the night. I have an appointment today with the diabetes specialist and I'm sure some more tweaks are in order. It's amazing how your body responds to different stresses. I think all my meds will need to be adjusted over time. The doctors talked about my body needing to "reset" itself. This is probably part of what they meant.
There will be more bumps in the road ahead of us, but overall things are good and I am starting to feel like myself again. I look forward to improving each day this week.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Set back city....
Saturday wasn't great. Friday was fantastic. We probably pushed too much on Friday is my guess.
The blood pressure is decent, the blood sugar is still a little all over the place. I am pushing for an appointment with the diabetes Dr. tomorrow because I'm about sick of hearing "I just need to keep messing with it."
He is tired...and he has lost a lot of weight.
I am tired....and I've gained 2 pounds. Emotional baggage weighs a lot.
Yesterday was hard. Today is a little bit better....hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
The blood pressure is decent, the blood sugar is still a little all over the place. I am pushing for an appointment with the diabetes Dr. tomorrow because I'm about sick of hearing "I just need to keep messing with it."
He is tired...and he has lost a lot of weight.
I am tired....and I've gained 2 pounds. Emotional baggage weighs a lot.
Yesterday was hard. Today is a little bit better....hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Feeling better....
Lynn slept last night, and that was an amazing thing for him.
His blood pressure this morning was normal...and that also is an amazing thing.
Dr. Jackson said she would have her nurse call in the morning, and she did call. Only to be followed up by a phone call from Dr. Jackson 45 minutes later. She is simply awesome. I truly don't feel like us meeting her was an accident. We were supposed to meet her yesterday...we just didn't know it. She reitereated once again that should any problems arise over the weekend that we were to check in with her and then she would follow up once again on Monday. She did put him back on one heart med at 1/4 of the dose because not taking it at all would be a huge detriment. I've become a mad scientist with the pill organizer and the pill cutter.
He is more himself today than he has been in weeks and hasn't taken pain medication all day. We did a lot of walking today and he wasn't tired....but I came home and crashed due to not sleeping because of the dog. Its always something....my new motto is I will rest when I'm dead. Someone get me a shirt printed up....or several so I don't have to do laundry. 😉
Life is slowly returning to a normal state but there will never be what was...and that's part of a grieving process for me....but also a more positive way of living what we have left to live.
As I have said when one of my favorite shows Parenthood ended...It's time to start living your life....do what makes you happy...do what makes the world better....do things you can be proud of.
There will be days that are hard. There will be days that were better than you could have imagined.
Live your life...and live it well.
His blood pressure this morning was normal...and that also is an amazing thing.
Dr. Jackson said she would have her nurse call in the morning, and she did call. Only to be followed up by a phone call from Dr. Jackson 45 minutes later. She is simply awesome. I truly don't feel like us meeting her was an accident. We were supposed to meet her yesterday...we just didn't know it. She reitereated once again that should any problems arise over the weekend that we were to check in with her and then she would follow up once again on Monday. She did put him back on one heart med at 1/4 of the dose because not taking it at all would be a huge detriment. I've become a mad scientist with the pill organizer and the pill cutter.
He is more himself today than he has been in weeks and hasn't taken pain medication all day. We did a lot of walking today and he wasn't tired....but I came home and crashed due to not sleeping because of the dog. Its always something....my new motto is I will rest when I'm dead. Someone get me a shirt printed up....or several so I don't have to do laundry. 😉
Life is slowly returning to a normal state but there will never be what was...and that's part of a grieving process for me....but also a more positive way of living what we have left to live.
As I have said when one of my favorite shows Parenthood ended...It's time to start living your life....do what makes you happy...do what makes the world better....do things you can be proud of.
There will be days that are hard. There will be days that were better than you could have imagined.
Live your life...and live it well.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Cardiac rehab...but not so fast
Well....today we were supposed to start cardio rehab, but when we got to the hospital they knew nothing about us, even though we had gotten a call confirming us yesterday. Instead of cardio rehab we were directed to the heart failure floor. Speaking of heart failure thats just about what I had when she said that's where we needed to be instead of rehab.
We were under the impression that's the direction we were going...so this news was a little shocking.
When we got to the right floor we went into a room with 2 recliners...one for Lynn and one for me...by then we both needed that!
The aide started taking his vitals. Weight.fine...temp fine...blood pressure.....blood pressure...blood pressure...can I get a blood pressure on recliner 1....low. Way low...seriously low....low enough that I just about fell into a puddle of tears in recliner 2. I wanted to just start weeping and screaming why can't we get the blood pressure right people??!!
In walks the Dr. I'm pretty sure she was sent to us...for real. Insert choirs of angels...rainbows...unicorns...all Glenda the good witch with Lepoard peep toe heels. For real.
Her name is Dr. Jackson and she is what is right in the world when it comes to Drs.
She spent the next hour with us. Listening, giving suggestions, drawing pictures, joking and establishing a plan of action for getting Lynn well enough to start rehab. She had to say he was a good candidate for it first. Who knew you had to be accepted to rehab??!!
She isn't all about low sodium. She believes in whole foods...staying away from processed anything. She says that one reason why his bp may be so low is due to not having enough sodium...which he isn't at this point getting what is recommended. Not because we have restricted it that much. He just isn't eating much right now.
He had a stat blood draw to check white count and stuff. Should have those numbers by this afternoon.
She gave us a number to have her paged over the weekend while she tweeks the meds. She is calling in the morning to check on him. She is everything that is good....she is just what I needed today.
After the very long morning we stopped by Chipotle for bowls made with brown rice beans and veggies. It was the first time in over two weeks I have seen my husband smile. He promised me he would work on that.
This process is not for the faint of heart. Unless you have lived it there is no way to ever fully comprehend the journey. We continue to learn new things every day and continue to pray that we still have enough faith and strength to make a full recovery.
We were under the impression that's the direction we were going...so this news was a little shocking.
When we got to the right floor we went into a room with 2 recliners...one for Lynn and one for me...by then we both needed that!
The aide started taking his vitals. Weight.fine...temp fine...blood pressure.....blood pressure...blood pressure...can I get a blood pressure on recliner 1....low. Way low...seriously low....low enough that I just about fell into a puddle of tears in recliner 2. I wanted to just start weeping and screaming why can't we get the blood pressure right people??!!
In walks the Dr. I'm pretty sure she was sent to us...for real. Insert choirs of angels...rainbows...unicorns...all Glenda the good witch with Lepoard peep toe heels. For real.
Her name is Dr. Jackson and she is what is right in the world when it comes to Drs.
She spent the next hour with us. Listening, giving suggestions, drawing pictures, joking and establishing a plan of action for getting Lynn well enough to start rehab. She had to say he was a good candidate for it first. Who knew you had to be accepted to rehab??!!
She isn't all about low sodium. She believes in whole foods...staying away from processed anything. She says that one reason why his bp may be so low is due to not having enough sodium...which he isn't at this point getting what is recommended. Not because we have restricted it that much. He just isn't eating much right now.
He had a stat blood draw to check white count and stuff. Should have those numbers by this afternoon.
She gave us a number to have her paged over the weekend while she tweeks the meds. She is calling in the morning to check on him. She is everything that is good....she is just what I needed today.
After the very long morning we stopped by Chipotle for bowls made with brown rice beans and veggies. It was the first time in over two weeks I have seen my husband smile. He promised me he would work on that.
This process is not for the faint of heart. Unless you have lived it there is no way to ever fully comprehend the journey. We continue to learn new things every day and continue to pray that we still have enough faith and strength to make a full recovery.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Back in Action
Had a bad day Friday as Erin mentioned, but it's part of the process... I guess. I was told they will have to try a few doses of the heart meds before we get it right. The beta-blocker I am on went a little too far in lowering my blood pressure. Thankfully, I am feeling much better this weekend with the dose cut in half. I'm tired of getting tired so easily but have already increased my walking distance. And, I'm learning it's not really the distance traveled as much as how fast I walk; too fast and I start to cough. That REALLY hurts. Most importantly, I'm back in action and recovering well.
The family went to Target this afternoon for my first outing since coming home. We didn't walk a whole lot (I don't think), but I found myself ready to come home. The leg they harvested the veins from to graph to my heart hurts more today. Overall, I've been surprised by how much these 3 incisions bother me. I've been backing off the pain meds so that probably has a lot to do with it. It's also probably the reason I'm not my joyful self. Reality sucks... bring on the pain meds! :)
Tomorrow I have my first doctor's appointment. I think I start cardio rehab Thursday. I look forward to these trips. Maybe I can talk Erin into extra pain meds just to liven up the experience... maybe I'll see colors correctly for the first time! We'll never know unless I try it,.. what do you say, Erin? Feel free to leave comments encouraging the color proofing experiment.
I'll write my next post while on pain meds so it is a more interesting read. :) In the meantime, I thank you for your continued prayers and positive messages.
The family went to Target this afternoon for my first outing since coming home. We didn't walk a whole lot (I don't think), but I found myself ready to come home. The leg they harvested the veins from to graph to my heart hurts more today. Overall, I've been surprised by how much these 3 incisions bother me. I've been backing off the pain meds so that probably has a lot to do with it. It's also probably the reason I'm not my joyful self. Reality sucks... bring on the pain meds! :)
Tomorrow I have my first doctor's appointment. I think I start cardio rehab Thursday. I look forward to these trips. Maybe I can talk Erin into extra pain meds just to liven up the experience... maybe I'll see colors correctly for the first time! We'll never know unless I try it,.. what do you say, Erin? Feel free to leave comments encouraging the color proofing experiment.
I'll write my next post while on pain meds so it is a more interesting read. :) In the meantime, I thank you for your continued prayers and positive messages.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Pass the hat....
Well....today proved that we aren't quite out of the woods when it comes to falling into a routine.
I went to work this morning and left Lynn in the capable hands of another care taker. I'm very serious when I say he needs 24/7 care. We haven't gotten a handle on the blood sugars yet and thats a huge deal.
On the way home I stopped by the store, which is proving to be where I could spend hours reading lables trying to find the best options for us.
When I got home I was greeted by a concerned caretaker and Lynn who was pretty out of it.
I took his blood sugar and it was fine. I took his blood pressure and it was really low. Not just kinda low....scary low.
I called his cardiologist, but of course you have to wait for them to call back.
I finally said his only options were an ambulance ride or I would drive him to the ER.
Being in the ER/hospitals is becoming second nature for me...at least there I know we are hooked up to monitors.
The monitored him for about 2 hours and said the ekg was perfect. During that time the cardio nurse called me back and basically halved all of the heart meds and beta blocker.
He seems to be doing OK. We'll be taking. Up collections for the medical bills and also reviewing applications for nursing care. :) Just kidding!
I'm thankful that I have a family that is close and can be here at the drop of a hat. I'm also thankful that we have a huge support system of friends who are willing to help out. If I could tell you what you could do to help out I would! Right now we are just in survival mode until we can get it all figured out. Eventually we will...but its going to take time. And we already know how lucky we are to have that extra time!!
I went to work this morning and left Lynn in the capable hands of another care taker. I'm very serious when I say he needs 24/7 care. We haven't gotten a handle on the blood sugars yet and thats a huge deal.
On the way home I stopped by the store, which is proving to be where I could spend hours reading lables trying to find the best options for us.
When I got home I was greeted by a concerned caretaker and Lynn who was pretty out of it.
I took his blood sugar and it was fine. I took his blood pressure and it was really low. Not just kinda low....scary low.
I called his cardiologist, but of course you have to wait for them to call back.
I finally said his only options were an ambulance ride or I would drive him to the ER.
Being in the ER/hospitals is becoming second nature for me...at least there I know we are hooked up to monitors.
The monitored him for about 2 hours and said the ekg was perfect. During that time the cardio nurse called me back and basically halved all of the heart meds and beta blocker.
He seems to be doing OK. We'll be taking. Up collections for the medical bills and also reviewing applications for nursing care. :) Just kidding!
I'm thankful that I have a family that is close and can be here at the drop of a hat. I'm also thankful that we have a huge support system of friends who are willing to help out. If I could tell you what you could do to help out I would! Right now we are just in survival mode until we can get it all figured out. Eventually we will...but its going to take time. And we already know how lucky we are to have that extra time!!
Thursday, April 16, 2015
One week out
We have been home for 2 days now and it seems like leaving the hospital is a distant memory.
The last 2 days have been filled with a fury of pill organization, what he takes and when, blood sugar monitoring and trying new recipes with low or no sodium...which I swear do not exsist.
I have always felt like I cooked pretty healthy, and I do...however I don't cook without salt. I'm going to have to break up with you salt...its been real...but I'd rather live.
The most stressful part right now is that Lynn's blood sugar is all over the map. It's low then high. It needs to be constanly monitored...which means HE needs to be constantly monitored.
We'll get there eventually..but this is a time of trial and error and trying to figure out what works for Lynn.
Pain wise he is feeling good and we go for a few short walks a day...but just simple things take a lot out of him, like taking a shower.
The last two nights by the end of the night I've had chest pains of my own....just the anxiety getting the better of me. It is just a different world...where one major thing has changed in our life but the rest of the world continues on.
This hasn't just happened to Lynn. This has happened to my entire family as well as his mom and sisters. Yes...its hard. But never once have we faultered in dealing with the problem or accepting this reality.
Overall we are doing well. We have our moments of....well this sucks....but we don't dwell in "stinkin thinkin" because we have a lot of life left to live. We will take whatever God continues to bless us with and pray that our journey will inspire everyone else to live a little better and smile a whole lot more.
The last 2 days have been filled with a fury of pill organization, what he takes and when, blood sugar monitoring and trying new recipes with low or no sodium...which I swear do not exsist.
I have always felt like I cooked pretty healthy, and I do...however I don't cook without salt. I'm going to have to break up with you salt...its been real...but I'd rather live.
The most stressful part right now is that Lynn's blood sugar is all over the map. It's low then high. It needs to be constanly monitored...which means HE needs to be constantly monitored.
We'll get there eventually..but this is a time of trial and error and trying to figure out what works for Lynn.
Pain wise he is feeling good and we go for a few short walks a day...but just simple things take a lot out of him, like taking a shower.
The last two nights by the end of the night I've had chest pains of my own....just the anxiety getting the better of me. It is just a different world...where one major thing has changed in our life but the rest of the world continues on.
This hasn't just happened to Lynn. This has happened to my entire family as well as his mom and sisters. Yes...its hard. But never once have we faultered in dealing with the problem or accepting this reality.
Overall we are doing well. We have our moments of....well this sucks....but we don't dwell in "stinkin thinkin" because we have a lot of life left to live. We will take whatever God continues to bless us with and pray that our journey will inspire everyone else to live a little better and smile a whole lot more.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Someone else is happy....
This puppy has missed his daddy....could barely contain himself when we walked in the door.
Going Home!
I'm online again and have great news! The CT surgeon says I get to go home today! The process is going to take way too long and drive me nuts, but sometime today I'll be back home.
This is where your prayers and well wishes shift to Erin. She's going to need them. I'm told I can't drive for about 5 weeks. I can't even ride in the front seat of a car for 5 weeks! Erin will have to bathe me, and clothe me, and feed me, and wait on me hand and foot for the next 5 weeks. At least, that's how I imagine my care. Or maybe the pain medication is affecting me? 😃
I hope everyone is having as good of a day as I am having!
This is where your prayers and well wishes shift to Erin. She's going to need them. I'm told I can't drive for about 5 weeks. I can't even ride in the front seat of a car for 5 weeks! Erin will have to bathe me, and clothe me, and feed me, and wait on me hand and foot for the next 5 weeks. At least, that's how I imagine my care. Or maybe the pain medication is affecting me? 😃
I hope everyone is having as good of a day as I am having!
99%
That's how sure Dr F is that we get to go home today. Home will be better, but it will come with challenges.
In PT he got to walk the stairs and he did that so great. Building up his lung capacity again is going to be so important in feeling better. Two days ago I wondered if he was ever going to be able to walk stairs again. It's going to be slow, and we just have to keep at it....but he is so determined to make it happen.
I am excited that he is coming home. We can start to be a family again, and after 11 days of being in the hospital that will be nice. I am also very nervous because last time he was at this house he left on a strecher. That memory is still very raw for me because it was so traumatic. Yes, we did everything right, but that does not erase watching someone have a heart attack while you wait for EMS to arrive.
The reality is it can happen again. All we can do, and all each of you reading this can do, is to prepare yourself in case it happens to you.
Get some quick dissolve aspirin and keep it in a place away from other meds where you know where it is all the time. Ours was in the nightstand.
Have a back up plan to call 911 if your cell won't connect.
Know your neighbors...especially if you have young children.
Prevention of this happening again will have to be our focus as we cannot undo what has been done. I am confident that we can make the changes necessary to continue living full and happy lives. Today will be hard, but at least we have it together.
In PT he got to walk the stairs and he did that so great. Building up his lung capacity again is going to be so important in feeling better. Two days ago I wondered if he was ever going to be able to walk stairs again. It's going to be slow, and we just have to keep at it....but he is so determined to make it happen.
I am excited that he is coming home. We can start to be a family again, and after 11 days of being in the hospital that will be nice. I am also very nervous because last time he was at this house he left on a strecher. That memory is still very raw for me because it was so traumatic. Yes, we did everything right, but that does not erase watching someone have a heart attack while you wait for EMS to arrive.
The reality is it can happen again. All we can do, and all each of you reading this can do, is to prepare yourself in case it happens to you.
Get some quick dissolve aspirin and keep it in a place away from other meds where you know where it is all the time. Ours was in the nightstand.
Have a back up plan to call 911 if your cell won't connect.
Know your neighbors...especially if you have young children.
Prevention of this happening again will have to be our focus as we cannot undo what has been done. I am confident that we can make the changes necessary to continue living full and happy lives. Today will be hard, but at least we have it together.
Monday, April 13, 2015
It's Monday..
And Lynn last night probably had his best night of sleep since surgery.
I tried to sneak out about 3 am...but my ninja skills failed as I haven't had to crawl away from a crib at 2 am in a very long time. As soon as I started to step, his hand went up and grabbed my arm and he said..."Not yet....it's too early." I'm pretty sure I could take on anyone in the parking garage with my 55 lb bag I've been carrying around. No one is gonna mess around with me after the 10 days I've had.
I stayed until about 6 when they had started his morning routine of meds and vitals and blood draws. It was quite the parade of people, and the most people we had seen all night as nurses in this unit are basically used for meds dispensation and vitals.
Dr. F, who I absolutely love, came in and said he looks really good and is 99% sure he will get to go home tomorrow. I am ok with that as he is doing really well here, but I know my work has only just begun in taking care of him and driving Miss Daisy around.
We are still waiting to hear from PT today. I have major questions for them about what need to modify for the house before he gets home.
Dietary also came in this morning, and eating as Lynn has known has come to a crashing hault. Even though diabetes plays a major role in all this he does need to follow a heart healthy diet now. I'm thankful the jump will not be a huge one for us as I am more than capable of cooking whole foods and managing a lifestyle change.
He however will have moments where he won't want to accept that.
Either eat healthy or live a shorter life...it's really that simple.
I tried to sneak out about 3 am...but my ninja skills failed as I haven't had to crawl away from a crib at 2 am in a very long time. As soon as I started to step, his hand went up and grabbed my arm and he said..."Not yet....it's too early." I'm pretty sure I could take on anyone in the parking garage with my 55 lb bag I've been carrying around. No one is gonna mess around with me after the 10 days I've had.
I stayed until about 6 when they had started his morning routine of meds and vitals and blood draws. It was quite the parade of people, and the most people we had seen all night as nurses in this unit are basically used for meds dispensation and vitals.
Dr. F, who I absolutely love, came in and said he looks really good and is 99% sure he will get to go home tomorrow. I am ok with that as he is doing really well here, but I know my work has only just begun in taking care of him and driving Miss Daisy around.
We are still waiting to hear from PT today. I have major questions for them about what need to modify for the house before he gets home.
Dietary also came in this morning, and eating as Lynn has known has come to a crashing hault. Even though diabetes plays a major role in all this he does need to follow a heart healthy diet now. I'm thankful the jump will not be a huge one for us as I am more than capable of cooking whole foods and managing a lifestyle change.
He however will have moments where he won't want to accept that.
Either eat healthy or live a shorter life...it's really that simple.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Three days post op
Last night was tough. While we did get moved out of ICU that means less checking in by nurses.
By the time the kids came up he had overdone it to the point past exhaustion. He knew it...but now the recovery is harder.
The kids were here for only a short time and he couldn't catch his breath. It was scary for them. I was just angry that he had pushed himself so hard.
I get it. He wants to leave. Believe me I want to leave too, but I want to be able to take care of him when he gets home too. I will have to be the nurse at home that I was last night. Up most the night monitoring pain and trips to the bathroom. I want to be sure that he has progressed a little bit more before that when he comes home.
Megan and my parents came up and spent a majority of the morning/afternoon so I could go to work and then home to take a 2 hr nap.
When I got back here tonight he is doing ok but still so weak and tired. I know it just takes time but they think we may go home tomorrow and I'm just not ready for that.
Our spirits are still high and we know that the healing is going well. We have jumped so many hurdles. Even though we know we have a long way to still go we know that he is doing remarkably well....it just is going to take a long time.
By the time the kids came up he had overdone it to the point past exhaustion. He knew it...but now the recovery is harder.
The kids were here for only a short time and he couldn't catch his breath. It was scary for them. I was just angry that he had pushed himself so hard.
I get it. He wants to leave. Believe me I want to leave too, but I want to be able to take care of him when he gets home too. I will have to be the nurse at home that I was last night. Up most the night monitoring pain and trips to the bathroom. I want to be sure that he has progressed a little bit more before that when he comes home.
Megan and my parents came up and spent a majority of the morning/afternoon so I could go to work and then home to take a 2 hr nap.
When I got back here tonight he is doing ok but still so weak and tired. I know it just takes time but they think we may go home tomorrow and I'm just not ready for that.
Our spirits are still high and we know that the healing is going well. We have jumped so many hurdles. Even though we know we have a long way to still go we know that he is doing remarkably well....it just is going to take a long time.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
How are you doing?
That's what Lynn wants me to answer. So my answer is I'm fine. What else can I be? My reality is that a week ago my husband had a heart attack and our lives changed. There is nothing I can do about that except to prevent another one.
I'm scared about taking him home. I'm tired from still trying to live a normal life this week. I'm sick of driving back and forth to a hospital.
The stress of a major surgery effects more than the person on the operating table. It effects the whole family. When he has had surgery before he says its always easier for the patient than the spouse, and I tend to agree with that.
Tonight hasn't been the best evening. He overdid it this afternoon and was more tired than usual and was having trouble breathing. He couldn't really talk without getting winded. Seeing him struggle took me right back to having to call 911. It was traumatic. For everyone.
Tomorrow's goal is for me to make it to work and for him to not over exert himself to the point of struggling again.....because that's not good for either one of us.
I'm scared about taking him home. I'm tired from still trying to live a normal life this week. I'm sick of driving back and forth to a hospital.
The stress of a major surgery effects more than the person on the operating table. It effects the whole family. When he has had surgery before he says its always easier for the patient than the spouse, and I tend to agree with that.
Tonight hasn't been the best evening. He overdid it this afternoon and was more tired than usual and was having trouble breathing. He couldn't really talk without getting winded. Seeing him struggle took me right back to having to call 911. It was traumatic. For everyone.
Tomorrow's goal is for me to make it to work and for him to not over exert himself to the point of struggling again.....because that's not good for either one of us.
His number is called...
And he will move within the hour out of ICU. The chest tubes and the arterial line are gone and the central line just got pulled. The only thing he is on now is O2 and the heart monitor. We may have to go home with the oxygen but I hope not.
He has walked and sat in the recliner 2 times today and when I got here, he got out of the chair and into bed almost by himself. I helped lift his super muscular, toned, orange glow legs for him but really he did a lot of the work himself.
He ate toast and grapes for breakfast and now we are waiting on some chicken noodle soup. I feel like if he eats he will have more energy.
He isn't sleeping well, but continues to do what he needs to so we can go home. I'm 100% sure thats what our insurance company wants too.
The kids will get to see him tonight if all goes well and both sides are pretty excited about that.
He has walked and sat in the recliner 2 times today and when I got here, he got out of the chair and into bed almost by himself. I helped lift his super muscular, toned, orange glow legs for him but really he did a lot of the work himself.
He ate toast and grapes for breakfast and now we are waiting on some chicken noodle soup. I feel like if he eats he will have more energy.
He isn't sleeping well, but continues to do what he needs to so we can go home. I'm 100% sure thats what our insurance company wants too.
The kids will get to see him tonight if all goes well and both sides are pretty excited about that.
Friday, April 10, 2015
CTICU update
They have removed several more tubes from Lynn in an effort to move him along in his recovery. He is getting ready for his 2nd walk today around the unit and then will sit in the recliner for the 3rd time today.
He is very tired but in good spirits. He has been smiling and telling me how tough he is.
He will attached the insulin pump once again tonight and will be in control of that until he leaves. They will monitor the blood sugars and it will give him a feeling of control.
This is the outcome that we want. He still hurts but he is healing well and now we just continue to wait. They say that they will move him out of icu tomorrow and that is one step closer to getting our lives back and continuing recovery at home.
He is very tired but in good spirits. He has been smiling and telling me how tough he is.
He will attached the insulin pump once again tonight and will be in control of that until he leaves. They will monitor the blood sugars and it will give him a feeling of control.
This is the outcome that we want. He still hurts but he is healing well and now we just continue to wait. They say that they will move him out of icu tomorrow and that is one step closer to getting our lives back and continuing recovery at home.
Watch out Carl Lewis....
He may not have track shoes on, but Lynn is up and walking. He did a lap and a half this morning in the unit, and wanted to do more but nurses have said he needs to pace himself. He gets tired fast, but the more he can be up and moving the better it will be for his lung function. Slowly the tubes are starting to be shed the biggest most painful ones are the 2 chest tubes. I've heard once those are gone the pain subsides greatly.
He already started his physical heart therapy and we will have to modify a few things maybe here at home to follow the rules, and the answer is YES....we will be following the rules on this. :)
The Dr,'s are very pleased with the progress he has made, and I'm less and less scared as his body takes over and heals on it's own. It's doing exactly that now, and we just continue to wait.
The kids can't be in the unit, so hopefully we can set up facetime today with them. They are missing their Dad a lot. Grandma has taken them out today to make a lettuce planter to welcome him back home. He's going to love that.
I'm spending time working, taking a break to stare at the wall and reflecting about what my life was a week ago today. So many things to think about, and so many things that could have gone the other direction. We are so blessed.
He already started his physical heart therapy and we will have to modify a few things maybe here at home to follow the rules, and the answer is YES....we will be following the rules on this. :)
The Dr,'s are very pleased with the progress he has made, and I'm less and less scared as his body takes over and heals on it's own. It's doing exactly that now, and we just continue to wait.
The kids can't be in the unit, so hopefully we can set up facetime today with them. They are missing their Dad a lot. Grandma has taken them out today to make a lettuce planter to welcome him back home. He's going to love that.
I'm spending time working, taking a break to stare at the wall and reflecting about what my life was a week ago today. So many things to think about, and so many things that could have gone the other direction. We are so blessed.
The sun rises....
And so did Lynn this morning at 6:00 to a recliner. :) The pain is being managed through meds and now he says its about a 4. He also got a breathing treatment, and the lungs sound good.
I've had little sleep so while the shift changes I will go get some much needed sleep and see the kids. He is doing very well for such a major surgery!!
I've had little sleep so while the shift changes I will go get some much needed sleep and see the kids. He is doing very well for such a major surgery!!
Thursday, April 9, 2015
One less tube
The intubation tube came out about about 9:30. Turning down the vent was one of the scariest moments I have ever witnessed in my life. The trick is to get the lungs to function again without the blood pressure rising. If the pressure rises the graphs blow and that's it....
Tedious work..and thank goodness David the nurse was there to reassure me. I've seen enough of that thank you very much.
Hallelujah the vent tube is out, and the breathing has resumed. Which also means that the talking has resumed. Which means all I hear is I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.
After witnessing all of that I have decided to stay until I feel like he is more stable.
I have to tell you....today I have seen goodness...and I have been pushed to the brink of my limits. Without my faith, my family and my friends I would not be able to walk this journey. So thank you to each one of for praying and encoraging us to keep fighting to break out of here!
Tedious work..and thank goodness David the nurse was there to reassure me. I've seen enough of that thank you very much.
Hallelujah the vent tube is out, and the breathing has resumed. Which also means that the talking has resumed. Which means all I hear is I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.
After witnessing all of that I have decided to stay until I feel like he is more stable.
I have to tell you....today I have seen goodness...and I have been pushed to the brink of my limits. Without my faith, my family and my friends I would not be able to walk this journey. So thank you to each one of for praying and encoraging us to keep fighting to break out of here!
Tubes, tubes and more tubes
Lynn is now in CTICU. He will be here for a bit while the monitor all the vitals and make sure he can sit up etc.
There are tubes coming out of every part of his body. If he didnt have a hole there before he does now. :)
Everything went well in the surgery. No surprises..which I am thankful for.
He is in a lot of pain. We knew that he would be....but it's really hard to see that in someone you love. He seems to respond to touch and I have been touching his face. It immediately calms him eases the pain. Just knowing that he knows I'm here and that he is ok takes away my pain.
He is still intubated and will be until he comes out of anesthesia. That should be later tonight.
The say tomorrow they will have him up by 6:30 AM....it's been awhile since he has seen that early. :)
He is doing well...and now we just need time for his body to recover.
There are tubes coming out of every part of his body. If he didnt have a hole there before he does now. :)
Everything went well in the surgery. No surprises..which I am thankful for.
He is in a lot of pain. We knew that he would be....but it's really hard to see that in someone you love. He seems to respond to touch and I have been touching his face. It immediately calms him eases the pain. Just knowing that he knows I'm here and that he is ok takes away my pain.
He is still intubated and will be until he comes out of anesthesia. That should be later tonight.
The say tomorrow they will have him up by 6:30 AM....it's been awhile since he has seen that early. :)
He is doing well...and now we just need time for his body to recover.
The Surgeon is 12...
I think he is about as young as they get. He just came out and told me that everything went good. If he behaves himself and works on kidney function and doesn't bleed they will remove the vent in about 4-6 hours. They want to be sure there are no complications before then.
I'm so thankful and grateful and now the healing begins. We are looking for small victories and will celebrate every.single.one.of them!
I'm so thankful and grateful and now the healing begins. We are looking for small victories and will celebrate every.single.one.of them!
And the beat goes on...
Thats right...he is off bypass and the heart is beating again...🙏🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 They are closing him now and that takes a long time. Coninued prayers all of us.
Baby Steps
Lynn is now on the bypass machine. This for me is the absolute worst part....knowing that his heart isn't beating kills me. I'm sure no one wants to be work on a beating heart...that's probably close to like herding kittens.
We are nearing the halfway point of what I feel like has been a marathon. Keep the prayers coming.
We are nearing the halfway point of what I feel like has been a marathon. Keep the prayers coming.
It Begins...
Surgery has been started. It will be a 4 hr procedure. All went well and now begins the longest 4 hours of my life.
I'm scared.
What will my life look like in 4 hours?
I'm angry.
Why is is happening to us?
I know they call this routine...but nothing about this is routine when its your 42 year old husband. MY HUSBAND.
I'm grateful.
Any time something major happens we are reminded how many people love us and care about us and are willing to help out with anything that we need. So blessed to have supportive family and friends to be here or a text away. We need you now...and we'll need you in the furture.
I'm looking to feel relief soon once they take him off the bypass machine and his heart starts beating on his own again.
As Lynn put it so eloquently before...this sucks. There is no better or more simple way to put it...but we know to keep living and loving we have to jump through some very important hoops.
I'm scared.
What will my life look like in 4 hours?
I'm angry.
Why is is happening to us?
I know they call this routine...but nothing about this is routine when its your 42 year old husband. MY HUSBAND.
I'm grateful.
Any time something major happens we are reminded how many people love us and care about us and are willing to help out with anything that we need. So blessed to have supportive family and friends to be here or a text away. We need you now...and we'll need you in the furture.
I'm looking to feel relief soon once they take him off the bypass machine and his heart starts beating on his own again.
As Lynn put it so eloquently before...this sucks. There is no better or more simple way to put it...but we know to keep living and loving we have to jump through some very important hoops.
Pre-Op
We showed up to the hospital this morning and Lynn wasn't in his room. My first thought was that he had hatched and escape and broken free...my second thought was that he was hiding. Neither one was correct.
After a mad dash marathon style with the surgical nurse I was allowed into pre-op before they started his lines.
An hour later I was taken back for a visit and to wish him well. Seeing him hooked up to machines and tubes was scary and sad....but I know this is the road we must travel. He is scared and nervous but wants to get it over and done with so we can move on with our life.
He worries about me. He worries about the kids. I told him he needed to either start smiling or crack a joke because if I didn't start laughing I was about to be a puddle of tears. So I joked about my off shore account and how nice a new king sized bed would be and and told a joke about Elvis Parsley, yes parsley that Kira told me.
He is in the most capable hands...and I've told them all those hands better not contain Staph. :)
The anesthesia has begun for his long nap and I will get updates serveral times.
After a mad dash marathon style with the surgical nurse I was allowed into pre-op before they started his lines.
An hour later I was taken back for a visit and to wish him well. Seeing him hooked up to machines and tubes was scary and sad....but I know this is the road we must travel. He is scared and nervous but wants to get it over and done with so we can move on with our life.
He worries about me. He worries about the kids. I told him he needed to either start smiling or crack a joke because if I didn't start laughing I was about to be a puddle of tears. So I joked about my off shore account and how nice a new king sized bed would be and and told a joke about Elvis Parsley, yes parsley that Kira told me.
He is in the most capable hands...and I've told them all those hands better not contain Staph. :)
The anesthesia has begun for his long nap and I will get updates serveral times.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
The Kids
They enjoy the the parking garage, hospital food the elevators and the "hannitizer". E puts that on and pretends to be the Dr..
We have always been very open with our kids and told them what we think they can handle, and this is no different. They know dad is sick, he is going to be cut open and he will get better.
The goodbyes tonight were hard for me to watch. Its one thing for me to say goodbye to him...but to watch him say goodbye to them...goodness, that was really hard.
We'll all be breaking out of this joint soon!
From the Man Himself
This will likely be my last contribution to this blog for a bit. I have been hospitalized since Saturday and the big day is tomorrow - quadruple bypass surgery, or cabbage as they call it here. CABG is Coronary Artery Bypass Grafting. I have 4 arteries to the heart that are mostly blocked... 80%-90%. They plan to crack me open, hook me up to a machine that will do the work of my heart and lungs, and then stop my heart in order to bypass the blocked arteries. Over an expected 4 hour period they will take veins from my leg and chest wall to create new paths to my heart. If all goes well I will feel like a new person (eventually) after they restart my heart.
The process has already started with a few labs, x-rays, and exams. Tonight I will get taken off the "floor" and admitted to the Cardiothoracic Intensive Care Unit (CTICU). That will be my new home for a few days. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. I know the hospital routine - been there, done that. But this is different. It's not just me, it's my entire family. I have no other way to describe this except to say it sucks.
Be forewarned, I will come out of this just fine and will be my old self soon enough. In the meantime, I get to spend my days driving Erin crazy. As you can see, I have something to look forward to. :)
Thank you everyone for your prayers, well wishes, and visits. See you on the other side....
The process has already started with a few labs, x-rays, and exams. Tonight I will get taken off the "floor" and admitted to the Cardiothoracic Intensive Care Unit (CTICU). That will be my new home for a few days. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. I know the hospital routine - been there, done that. But this is different. It's not just me, it's my entire family. I have no other way to describe this except to say it sucks.
Be forewarned, I will come out of this just fine and will be my old self soon enough. In the meantime, I get to spend my days driving Erin crazy. As you can see, I have something to look forward to. :)
Thank you everyone for your prayers, well wishes, and visits. See you on the other side....
Just the Facts
So just to let you know that Lynn still has a sense of humor we will both be posting here. I write from the heart and I tell it as I see it. Its not always grammatically correct, politically correct or funny but its always real.
When I married Lynn I knew that his health would always be interesting. He has quite a colorful health history. People seriously asked me if I really wanted to marry him knowing of all these issues. I asked him to marry me so the answer is yes...and to those people I said, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, we never know what the future holds.
Thankfully a few years ago my parents had (for Valentines Day) gotten all of their children Bayer Quick Dissolve Crystals that you just put in your mouth in case of a heart attack. I know having these right beside the bed is one of the reasons Lynn didn't have heart damage from the attack. Many things fell into place Sat morning from our neighbor Cindy showing up in the living room to take the kids to arriving at the hospital and seeing Misti (Clarkson) Baker in the ER. I was in too much shock to really even think about anything. Thankfully my brother Chris lives here and my parents arrive right after he did.
The next few days have been a blur of tests and waiting and balancing things as a single parent. Thank goodness for neighbors like the Karsacks who take care of the dog and Chad who is rebuilding our blown down fence. A few less things to worry about is always good.
When I married Lynn I knew that his health would always be interesting. He has quite a colorful health history. People seriously asked me if I really wanted to marry him knowing of all these issues. I asked him to marry me so the answer is yes...and to those people I said, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, we never know what the future holds.
Thankfully a few years ago my parents had (for Valentines Day) gotten all of their children Bayer Quick Dissolve Crystals that you just put in your mouth in case of a heart attack. I know having these right beside the bed is one of the reasons Lynn didn't have heart damage from the attack. Many things fell into place Sat morning from our neighbor Cindy showing up in the living room to take the kids to arriving at the hospital and seeing Misti (Clarkson) Baker in the ER. I was in too much shock to really even think about anything. Thankfully my brother Chris lives here and my parents arrive right after he did.
The next few days have been a blur of tests and waiting and balancing things as a single parent. Thank goodness for neighbors like the Karsacks who take care of the dog and Chad who is rebuilding our blown down fence. A few less things to worry about is always good.
I Have a Heart!
The question has been asked before, and Erin has noted on multiple occasions that I do not have a heart. Well, guess what? I do have a heart! But it's not doing so well right now. Maybe that is what Erin was talking about? She definitely needed to be clearer.
On Saturday morning, April 4, I woke up around 4:00 a.m. with chest pain, sweats, and a general feeling of confusion and impatience. After some fumbling around, I wised up and woke Erin for help. She jumped into action and was calling 911 soon enough. Erin also had the presence of mind to give me aspirin... an act that definitely helped me in the long run.
It wasn't long before we confirmed that I had a heart attack. Me, the 42 year old without a heart. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm more excited to have proven Erin wrong or the fact that I had a heart attack. I never thought this was coming, I mean, I know this was coming sometime, but not anytime soon. Diabetes takes its toll over the years, and I have lived with this disease for 30 years, but a heart attack? Not me.
Go figure. I was wrong... kinda a doozy for the first time.
On Saturday morning, April 4, I woke up around 4:00 a.m. with chest pain, sweats, and a general feeling of confusion and impatience. After some fumbling around, I wised up and woke Erin for help. She jumped into action and was calling 911 soon enough. Erin also had the presence of mind to give me aspirin... an act that definitely helped me in the long run.
It wasn't long before we confirmed that I had a heart attack. Me, the 42 year old without a heart. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm more excited to have proven Erin wrong or the fact that I had a heart attack. I never thought this was coming, I mean, I know this was coming sometime, but not anytime soon. Diabetes takes its toll over the years, and I have lived with this disease for 30 years, but a heart attack? Not me.
Go figure. I was wrong... kinda a doozy for the first time.
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